


I miss him too

by shirina_chan



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirina_chan/pseuds/shirina_chan
Summary: It´s two years past Thanos Snap. You were fighting alongside you dad Tony Stark and your boyfriend Peter Parker. Until today you weren´t able to cope with what you´ve lived through.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader, Tony Stark & Reader, Tony Stark/Reader
Kudos: 18





	I miss him too

**Author's Note:**

> [Dad! Tony Stark x Reader]
> 
> [Warning: Blood, character death, PTSD]
> 
> [Word count: 2.2 K]

You stood next to Peter Parker, your boyfriend, or well, right now Spider-man and everything around you felt like it was slowed down. The next second you heard your dad groaning. You turned in an instant. Thanos stabbed him. He just removed the blade and your dad dropped to the ground, unmoving.

“Dad!,” you screamed and started crying.

This can´t be happening. You wanted to go run up to him, see if he´s alright, but you couldn´t. Peter was holding you back. Thanos walked around, looking at all of us, before putting the time stone into his gauntlet. Peter pulled you closer to him and hugged you. Everything was lost, you had lost. Thanos disappeared. Now there was nothing left but to hope that the Avengers left on earth could fix the situation. If there were any left.

The sky turned red. You didn´t really realize what was happening, but you ran towards your dad, who was still not moving. Peter followed you. As soon as you reached your dad, you dropped to your knees and took his hand in yours.

“Dad, are you alright?,” you asked, already knowing the answer.

You dad coughed: “I´m so sorry, I couldn´t stop him.”

“No, Dad, we are going to be fine, we´ll safe you, you won´t die! You can´t leave me! You can´t leave mum! You can´t leave Peter,” you screamed.

But your dad wasn´t reacting any more. You couldn´t feel him breathing. Peter pulled you away from him. You felt him shaking. He was crying as well. He pulled you close to him and never wanted to let you go again. And you were devastated. Your dad just died, you were on a distant planet with a lot of people you don´t know and Thanos was still out there. You just didn´t know what was going to happen next. Suddenly you felt Peter grip loosen. You turn around. He looked pale.

“Pete, shit, are you alright?,” you asked.

“I don´t feel so good, my love,” he said, before dropping to the ground.

You tried to catch him and got pulled to the ground by his weight.

“Peter, Peter, look at me, it´s gonna be alright, everything will,” you scream at him.

“I´m sorry, I love you,” he said.

And suddenly, he faded. You looked at your hands, that were just holding Peter. You had little pieces between your finger, almost like ashes. Peter was gone. You looked around. Everyone around you started fading. It was just you and your dad, who wasn´t even alive. The sky turned even darker. You had lost. And you were going to die. A slow death. Suddenly, a figure walked towards you. It was so dark, you couldn´t see who it was at first. But then, suddenly, you recognized him.  
“You failed! Everyone died. Because of you! And now, it´s your turn,” Thanos said.

You started screaming and crying. Suddenly, you someone pushing you down. You keep screaming, trying to get the person off.

“Y/N! Y/N! Wake up, you´re dreaming, wake up!,” you hear your dads voice.

You were still not really awake and kept on panicking. 

“Honey, it´s alright, nothing happened, we´re here!,” you heard your dad again.

Finally, you woke up. You sat up in your bed, shaking. Your dad pulled you into a hug and you started crying. He petted your back. You could here your little sister crying outside of your room and your mum singing to her what relaxed you a little bit.

“I´m – I´m so sorry, I didn´t mean to wake you up,” you said, still strongly shaking.

“Honey, this isn´t your fault. You should never have seen the stuff you´ve seen. I suffered PTSD. I think, I still do, just not as much as I used to,” your dad answered.

“PTSD?,” you asked a bit confused.

Your dad began explaining: “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It means having nightmares, flashbacks, Anxiety and Depressions triggered by something you´ve witnessed. Maybe we need to find you a counsellor! I promise you, it´ll help!”

“It´s just nightmares. I don´t have Anxiety Attacks or Depressions or any flashbacks, it´s not PTSD, dad, I´m just fine.”

You were still shaking. Your dad looked concerned.

“You don´t have to have all of the symptoms. Though, your nightmares often trigger Anxiety Attacks. But that´s not the point. Do you want to talk about the nightmare.”

“It´s just. I see us, on Titan, that day. Thanos, stabbing you. You always die after in my dreams. And then just Peter, trying to comfort me and suddenly fading away. I just- I can´t- I can´t believe he is really gone. I love him so much, I just want him here with me, want him to tell me, everything is alright, it´s just, nothing seems to be about right currently.”

“I´m here! I´m alive. And about everything else, honey, I promise you, it won´t happen again!”

“It´s not about the fact, that it won´t happen again, but about the fact that it happened in the first place. It won´t happen again, doesn´t bring Peter back now, does it?,” you snapped.

You started crying again: “I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to. It´s just this situation. I´m so stressed, I have hardly slept since it happened. Every time, I close my eyes, I see it.”

“Honey, I know. But you have to try to sleep again, I´m really sorry. But I promise, I´ll call Rogers tomorrow, he´s been holding some counselling sessions, maybe he knows how to help you.”

You nodded, hugging your dad again.

Your dad started giggling a bit, but tried to stop again immediately: “Or we see if Wanda could just erase the memories!”

Even though you know, that he tried to joke to cheer you up, you start crying even more: “I don´t want to forget him. I just want him back.”

“I know, I´m sorry, honey, I shouldn´t have! I´m just tired. Maybe, we should both try to sleep for now.”

You nodded: “I´m just scared. Could you maybe just stay here with me until I fell asleep. I´d feel safer!”

“Everything so you can sleep, honey!”

When you woke up again, the sun is already up. You heard your mum and dad talking from downstairs. Everyone was awake already, but you were just glad you were able to sleep for the rest of the night without another nightmare.

You walked downstairs for breakfast. When you walked into the kitchen, you saw Steve sitting there as well. 

“Good morning, Y/N,” Steve greeted, since he´s the first one seeing you.

“Darling, are you alright,” your mum asked, hugging you immediately.

“Same as always. Didn´t sleep well, but you know that.”

Your mum nodded: “Yeah, I know. So Steve, that´s the issue. I don´t know, if Tony has told you, but since they came back from Titan, has nightmares, every night. She dreams about Peters death and she always dreams Tony dies too.”

“I think it´s PTSD. Like I used to have,” your dad explained.

“It´s not. It´s just nightmares and apparently occasionally anxiety attacks. And I´m sure everyone would have that, if they watched their dad getting stabbed and their boyfriend died in their arms,” you added.

“No, no worries, no PTSD,” he looked your dad, trying to tell him that it is PTSD by just looking at him.

“I know this is really hard, all of us are dealing with losses and we know how you feel, but of course, we want to help you, to stop your nightmares,” Steve added, trying to approach you.

You stayed silent. You weren´t really sure what Steve wanted to do and if you wanted whatever he wanted to do, but on the other hand, it could just get better.

“Let´s go for a walk, Y/N, if that´s alright with you,” Steve said.

You nodded and followed Steve outside the house. The two of you started walking towards the lake and then around it. At first, you just walked quietly next to each other.

“How would you feel about joining the Post Snap Group I´m leading, Y/N? It´s just a group of people who suffered losses because of Thanos snap and they help each other dealing with it. The most important thing is to talk to others, have social interactions, go for walks, maybe start some sports and do something, maybe help people. You´ll feel better, I promise,” Steve said after a while breaking the silence.

You nodded: “I want to do something. I´m just scared of forgetting him. Or maybe dishonouring him. Or just cheating. You know, it really feel like I´m cheating on him, thinking about moving on. We promised each other to e together forever and our forever didn´t even last two years.”

You looked at the promising ring he gave you before showing it to Steve.

“I know how you feel, Y/N, I really do. Back in the 50s, there was this woman I really liked. The love of my life, I might even say. But then I was asleep seventy years. When I finally found her, she was in hospital, dying. There isn´t a day I don´t miss her, but I managed to move on.”

“Isn´t it a slightly different situation? She probably died of age, Peter died being 15 years old!”

“I know. I just wanted to show you, it´s possible to move on,” Steve said quietly.

You just nodded: “I´m sorry. I´m just stressed.”

Steve and you walked almost around the entire lake without saying another word. You just slightly enjoyed being with someone apart from your family.

“Steve?,” you started asking him when you got close to the cabin again.

“Yes?”

“I want to see May. She´s Peter aunt. I want to see if she´s still alive. I just couldn´t deal with Peter being dead, I couldn´t talk to her. And I don´t think dad did either. I just want to see, if she´s alive and how she´s doing. Could you take me down to Queens? I can´t ask dad.”

“I guess I can do that. If it helps you cope. Did you want to go right away?”

You nodded. The two of you walked into the house and the kitchen again. Your mum and dad were still sitting in the kitchen, together with your little sister. 

“Everythings alright, Tony, no worries. I´d like take her out to New York though if that´s alright with you! I think some social contacts with others from my group might help her,” Steve lied.

Your mum nodded: “Of course that´s fine, Steve! Everything to help her.”

“This is it,” you say and take a deep breath.

“Do you want me to come with you?,” Steve asked.

You nodded: “Yes please. I really don´t want to be alone.”

You enter the building, followed by Steve and walked up the stairs. You were already able to hear voices. Maybe, May had some visitors. You rang the bell and just a few seconds later, someone opened the door. But it wasn´t May.

“Pardon me, I was looking for May Parker, is she around?,” you asked.

The person who opened the door looked at you: “No, I´m sorry. She used to live her, but she disappeared amongst the others two years ago.”

You smiled and nodded slightly: “Thank you.”

The person closed the door and Steve and you quietly walked back to the car. Steve opens the door for you and you sat down. Then Steve walks around to the other side and gets in the car as well.

“Thank you for doing this for me Steve,” you said.

He nodded: “No worries. I´d do everything to help you! We´re like family, after all, right?”

“Right. You know, Steve, I´m kind of glad that May died. It sounds really mean, but there it´s just one person less suffering from his death. And maybe, wherever they are now, they get to see each other again.”

“That´s a beautiful way of seeing the situation.”

You were just about to go to sleep when suddenly your dad knocks. He walks into your room sitting down next to you one the bed.

“Steve told me about your little trip earlier,” he said.

You bit your lip: “I´m sorry dad we weren´t honest. I just though, you might wanted to tag along and I wasn´t sure how you would have taken the situation.”

“I know, honey, it´s alright, no worries. I just think it´s a beautiful thing you did there. If I´m being honest, I couldn´t have done that. The risk of looking May in the eyes after loosing her nephew, I couldn´t have. I´m so proud of you!”

He hugged you and you pulled him closer towards you. 

“You know how I told you, I had PTSD, right? Well, I lied a little. I actually still have it. It´s just not as bad as it´s used to be. Everything that happened, I dream of it every single night as well,” your dad suddenly said.

The moment you looked him in the eyes, you could see tears.

“I just miss him,” the look of him almost crying made you cry.

He joined in: “I miss him too.”


End file.
